[notice]A monthly column in which KWAKANYA NDLELENI shares testimonies of young people who are radical for Jesus.[/notice]
It’s really so easy to lose oneself in the now; the trials, the tribulations and the adversities. So much easier to be complacent and find comfort in pain that anything that amounts less to that [pain] is just water under a bridge, really.
My name is Kwakanya Ndleleni and below is a bit of my testimony on how Jesus is radical for us because we are His.
“Majesty, Majesty … Your grace has found me just as I am, empty handed but alive in Your hands.” This line never held true sentiment to me until I sat down and reflected on the Grace of God that has been upon my life. I sit here not knowing where and how to start with my testimony because as far back as I can remember, God was ALWAYS there. A little background, I grew up in a family of three girls and two parents. My (late) father, despite his encouraging nature, was never a perfect father; he fell short more than one can ever imagine. My mother on the other hand was (and still is) the epitome of a mother of nations; a nurse by profession and a super woman in all spheres. I grew up in a Christian home and as result when people look at me they are quick to assume that I grew up on a bed full of roses and everything of mine has been and still is hunky dory. I know what it is like to be rejected, to feel insecure and insignificant; believing lies that have kept me captive for years on end.
Two years ago I had this heavy sense that I have been called to a ministry to young girls and at that time I did not understand what that truly meant and what it entailed. I still don’t fully understand but I pressed in and prayed to God about what it means and wondered why He would bring certain people my way. Early last year God connected me to a friend of mine (Asisithi Mbewu) and this connection and our sudden interest in each other seemed a bit strange but we decided to embrace it. Two weeks later God spoke to me regarding being called to women and to nations and again I was like “Oh, okay Lord. Sure, not now, later.” He then dropped Asisithi on my heart and I found myself approaching her. We then took time out to pray and share our hearts and we realised we have the same heart and same passion — we even have a similar vision (no jokes). God then gave us a ministry which we refer to as ‘Dear Sister’.
As expected, the enemy started attacking left right and centre and the huge blow for me personally came in August 2013 when I lost my father who was the number one encourager and vision caller in my life (right after God of course). I reached a point in my life for the first time ever where I felt robbed broken, alone, and absolutely miserable. For a while I didn’t understand how a Good God could allow for His very own to experience such. I felt trapped in a world that I was in no way familiar with; in a world with so many people yet I felt as though I was wondering off, all alone. Depression and sleepless nights became my place of comfort. I sat days on end in the dark and I doubted my calling. I knew at the back of my mind somewhere that God is alive, all within me wanted to believe and have faith in Him but reality and the pain that it came with was unbearable. God still kept chasing after me, pursuing me but I kept running away and seeking comfort in things I believed would never fail me and rob me of my happiness. Little did I know that I was falling in the trap of the devil where darkness felt so good and conforming to the standards and ways of the world was the right thing to do, forgetting Romans 12 verse 2 (Do not conform to the standards of this world but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.),
In my moment of need I ran away from God because I feared He would hurt me again. It was just the other day that God dropped Matthew 22 verse 14 in my heart “For many are called but few are chosen.” And it hit me there and then that the job had not yet been done and that nations were waiting for that which God had birthed on the inside of me. I came to the knowledge of God being the author and finisher of my faith – regardless of how I felt. I now wake up every day and choose to exalt Him because He is my hiding place, my safe refuge and my treasure.
Asisithi and I started a “Dear Sister” page on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/www.dearsister.co.za where we encourage young women about anything and everything. We have just started so the page has not yet gone viral, but we believe that it will get to wherever it needs to get to and to whoever it needs to get to because God is not limited by distance and time. ‘Dear Sister’ is nothing out of the ordinary. Our heart is for every young girl and woman to come to a place of healing and restoration. It is also to empower, interact and minister at the click of a button. We believe that it is possible. We also believe that we will go from province to province to introduce ‘Dear Sister’, share our stories and empower young women — all in God’s time. I believe that as young people, more especially women, we go through a lot and at times we fail to bring ourselves to a point where we are comfortable sharing and talking about our problems, trials and tribulations because we fear judgment. ‘Dear Sister’ seeks to eliminate that mindset and allow women to understand that they are not alone and whatever it is that they go through shall pass. It is no way in place to disregard what we go through but I STRONGLY believe that rape, rejection, heartbreak, etc. DO NOT define who and whose we are and it is time for us to overcome the lies of the enemy and to stand up as women and not remain victims.
Whatever it is that you are faced with — big or small — Jesus IS enough. He is Yours and you are HIS. You matter and to whom much is given, much is expected. Rome was not built in a day. “Be strong and courageous; do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” — Joshua 1:9.