Jesus take the wheel: week 7 — Julita Kok

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Episode 7 in a weekly series in which music industry personality and Worship South Africa exco member Julita Kok reports back on a recent SA road trip in which she handed the steering wheel over to Jesus

I wanted to take this opportunity to write my last article concerning my South Africa trip as I will start a new series on a next trip. But before I tell you about that, let me finish my SA trip.

You can never go on an adventure with God and not be touched by what He does and not be changed. As you see what God does in the lives of others, you also look inward to see what is in your own heart. One of the biggest things for me on this trip was to truly know at the end of it all, that I know NOTHING. And by this I mean that, what I know is such a little bit compared to what there is to know about God.  

I think that all of us, myself included, are sometimes extremely arrogant.  Letting on and well, I think we actually believe it, that we know Who God is and what He wants. I tell you today that we know nothing. We think we know, but in fact, it is more of what we think and what we experience than what God is truly saying or doing.

This is why I am saying this and this is what I learned.

I was taught that God is a loving God. And He sure is, but His love is totally different to our love. His love says “NO” nearly all the time. Because He knows it is not good for us or will harm us or will affect the rest of our lives.  And of course, not many people listen. When they receive a “NO” from God, they justify their desire and still do what they wanted. And most probably, when things do go wrong, accuse God of not caring or just straight out that it is His fault.  

On this trip I saw how God said “NO” to so many people and sometimes for long periods of time. Because He knew that the other side of the coin was the best side for this person. I mean, can you imagine a love so big that you give the life of your son to save the lives of many other people. None of us loves like that. I am not willing to offer my children for a bunch of people who I do not even know and in any case deserve to die!!  Not God!! He loves every individual soooo much that He does not want one to be lost. 

I experienced this amazing love for people on this trip. How He would arrange a lot of people’s schedules to get to one soul simply because that person is important to Him. It blew me away every time. Remember the school principal and the woman in the wheelchair or even the girl with her guitar?  Or the man on the beach even (in my previous stories). Jesus did not die for ministries or church denominations or even for big revelations.  He died for people and people only. The love came at a great cost, but He did it even though He asked the Father to just maybe let this pass Him by and then out of LOVE, the Father said “NO”. Can you imagine!!! To us that would be the worst thing any father can do to his son. Tell him “NO” when he asks to please be spared. A good father would do anything to save his son. But God is not a man. And I saw this over and over and over again on this trip.

I also once again realised that He is a holy God. It filled me with the fear of the Lord. So, so holy that I have absolutely no words as to describe it. I  do not think there is earthly vocabulary to describe the holiness of God. It fills you with something so huge that all you can do is bow!!

And then I saw that He is sovereign. He decides. He knows. He does. And no man can interfere then. Only God Himself can make Him change His mind in both good and bad scenarios according to man. He is just. And He is gracious.

I drove away from the last place I visited and all I could do was ask Him who He was!! Who are You Lord?? Who are You? Teach me your ways and show me. And within that I was not even sure I wanted to know because asking that, I knew that He will bring me into situations that I might not want to be in just so that I can experience His greatness. That is not necessarily a “nice” place to be in.

So I came home in awe once again of Who He was but at the same time having the fear of the Lord in my heart. For I knew….He is truly God. Very much alive and in control of His world and his people.

I was glad that my trip was finished. I was tired and I needed time to truly absorb all that I have experienced and truly just sit at His feet and listen to what He tells me. I just needed to be quiet. I did not want to see anyone. I did not want to talk about what I experienced because I did not know how to make people understand. How can you tell them that God sometimes allows bad things because of His great love!! Humanly, it makes no sense at all. But I understand it now.

I asked the Lord why He sent the rain only after I had left a place or sometimes as I was leaving. It did not rain while I was with people. Always as I left or an hour or two later. He explained that this is how much He loves me. And I did not understand. What does love have to do with it? And He explained that he protected me against spiritual pride. If I was there every time that the rain came, I might have thought it is my prayers or my anointing when in fact it is only God. He said the rain would follow me and he honoured His word. It had nothing to do with me. But had I been there when it happened, I could easily think it was because of me. So He protected me. This is another kind of love, don’t you think? We would want our children to receive glory for things, but not God. He knows that some of the glory would be “bad” for us and thus He shields us against it. What a love!! What a love!!

So, I came home and tried to just digest all that happened and work through it and then suddenly, one morning, he tells me: “Pick up your head. I want you to go to Namibia.” Oh my word!! Has He seen how vast that country is? Has He seen the roads? Does He know how hot it is? Does He realise I am a woman alone? But of course, He knows all of this and I will receive the grace to do it, because He loves me.  But there are people in Namibia who He also loves and He wants to visit with them through me.

So here I am typing away, knowing full well that next week, I leave for Namibia. I have no idea what to expect, except that it will be different to my trip around SA. I know that it will be challenging and I know that it will cost. But, I also know that I will be coming back with a wealth of knowledge about God and people that money cannot buy. To be on a journey with Him is always exciting and an adventure and I love adventures.

New series starts next week!
So next week, I will start on a new series and come to you “live” from my trip in Namibia. Let us see what God has in store. One thing I am certain of, it will be good things. So here I am, coddiwompling again.

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