[notice]A testimony by Everall Taljaard whose heart was changed at the Karoo Mighty Men Conference last weekend. [/notice]
I am an ex Policeman who was an alcholic and drug addict for nearly 30 years. At the age of nine I was sodomised by an older man and from that day I had very little self esteem and I masked my insecurity with a tremendous amount of rage. My insecurity and anger has affected every relationship I ever had.
My first marriage was a disaster and ended, leaving three young boys without a father.
I met my present wife and although I nearly destroyed my second family with my drinking, we both met the Lord. For many years my relationship with God was not consistent and there were many issues that I could not resolve.
As a policeman in the apartheid regime, I was taught that black people were nothing but K@$$^s and that they lacked intelligence. I couldn’t accept that God had created them equal to whites.
Praise God for His patience and grace. It is written in Phillipians 1:6 “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus”.
It has taken many years and many hard lessons for me to fully understand and accept God’s grace.
In the last few years we have been living on a farm in the Karoo and have had to depend on Christian TV and outreaches
for spiritual input. The Mighty Men Conference in Middelburg has been a highlight for me. I first attended in 2011 but missed last year when Afrika [Mhlophe] spoke.
When I attended MMC this year (2014), I was somewhat cynical when I heard that Afrika would be one of the speakers. I am 67 and have for many years used the derogatory term “kaffir” when talking about black people. I believed there was NO hope for this country. Then on Saturday morning I heard God’s voice come out of Afrika’s mouth and I had to face the fact that I was a racist and racism is not from God.
God had been preparing my heart as I had been praying about my feelings about black people. God, through Afrika, showed me that I needed to deal with my attitude in a tangible way. So in Godly humility and with tears rolling down my face, I asked Afrika to forgive me. With great compassion, he freely did. I have been set free and now I know there is HOPE.
I finally get it!!!! God doesn’t see people as we do. We see and judge people by the colour of their skin, or gender, or denomination, or language, or even by their personality traits. God sees people through their hearts and when
we truly have Christ in our hearts, He sees us as perfect and worthy.
10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
so that sinners will turn back to you.
14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
you who are God my Savior,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
15 Open my lips, Lord,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
17 My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise.
Your brother in Christ