A new monthly column by social entrepreneur and A2B Transformation Group founder Vivienne Schultz.
Every human on this planet was created in the image of God. I understand this to mean that each one of us has innate potential and value. We have the ability to grow, to change and transform, and to contribute to society in response-able ways.
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Unfortunately, most of us have a dark side to this immense potential. We find it far easier to depend on others to do the hard work of transformation on our behalf; and we love it when others see us as their saviours because we do so much for them.
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“WE” still give to “THEM” because “THEY” have a need. Our mind-set and language indicate that we perceive the receivers of our assistance as second-rate citizens. We enable their abdication of responsibility by staying in the role of the giver. In the process, we perpetuate those limiting beliefs that keep people disempowered and we stifle their ability to develop to an optimum human state.
“WE have given so much to “THEM” but it never seems to be enough. “THEY” never seem to appreciate how much “WE“ have done. “THEY” still seem to be happy in “THEIR” stuckness, even after all our clever interventions.
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Does this sound familiar? Welcome to the bite-the-hand-that-feeds syndrome.
The moment you start giving you have flawed the journey of the receiver towards economic independence, becoming an optimum human and of them transitioning into a creator rather than staying a consumer of finished products.
Dealing with the fear factor
This sad cycle of co-dependency where the giver and receiver feed off each other with both being unable to move forward, is rooted in fear.
The receiver easily gets stuck in ongoing, nagging questions: Will I receive? Will I have enough? Will I be included? When will I receive? Why haven’t I received like my neighbour did? Who will rescue me?
The givers have their own set of miry mindsets: How long until these people change? Why do I feel so useless if I am trying so hard? Why are these people so ungrateful? What if my ideas have no effect? People think I am a great person for doing this. What if they see that my help is not helping?
In both cases, the human is under the control of the primitive brain — also called the impulsive brain, because it drives the uncontrolled fight / flight / freeze responses. As soon as that part of the brain smells fear, it diminishes your ability to do whole-brain independent, critical, creative thought. This means the giver and receiver are both sentenced to fear-driven reactions, in stead of creative, godly solutions.
Humans have incredible higher brain functioning ability, but fear prevents this part of the brain from functioning effectively. It usually keeps it from functioning at all. As humans, we collectively have to become specialists in igniting and integrating the higher brain functions.
Dear Christian, your highest role is to break the stifling strangle holds that keep the higher brain from functioning optimally; to move the higher brain from its dormant atrophied state, caused by ignorant bleeding-heart community workers, driven by their lack of belief in those humans they think they HAVE to HELP!
We have to address the cause and not the symptoms of poverty or disempowerment.
No human is a victim and the world owes us nothing. These mindsets are limiting beliefs that keep us from breaking into our full human potential.
I beg you: Stop finding your worth in being “the hand that feeds” and become the “hand that breeds” — the hand that breeds eagles who can fly to heights and become social entrepreneurs and powerful leaders. We need empowered contributors who can move our country from junk status to one of economic growth and stability and social cohesion.
It is critical that this degradation of the human potential should stop!
A few steps to break through the pathology of dependency.
1. Start provoking the limiting beliefs of those you work among
Move from “I HAVE TO BECAUSE YOU CAN’T” to “ TOGETHER WE CAN.”
Help every human engage the journey of self-optimisation through the acknowledgement of their own huge, but as yet untapped potential. Every human can be a problem–solver, proactively driving creative processes. Nobody was designed to be a passive passenger or consumer.
2. Build your interventions on the principle of value exchange
1. Start provoking the limiting beliefs of those you work among
2. Build your interventions on the principle of value exchange
3. Embrace a barter system
Value exchange engages participants early on in their journey to discover their unique value. It confirms to the disenfranchised person one message — the only message that empowers — namely “YOU CAN! YOU ARE VALUABLE!”
Commit to only engage with processes built on trusted, honest interactions to grow one another. Grow your sense of “I CAN” by assisting and growing your colleague.
Break through those the limiting beliefs where you are waiting passively for help, or where you think the problem will not be fixed unless you do it yourself.
Learn how to pool knowledge, in stead of building knowledge silos where you are the gatekeeper.
3. Embrace a barter system
A value exchange embraces the barter system, where there is no single winner or loser. It is a system built on mutual benefit and a shared goal. Make sure that every intervention has a giving and receiving role for every participant.
The A2B Transformation Movement has developed a range of personal optimisation tools for NPOs, business and individuals. Find us at www.a2btransformation.com or info@a2btransformation.com.
Dear Vivienne.
Thanks you for your comments regarding value exchange. What you say is very true but I have a problem with your solution.
Your solution again places the function of helping THEM onto US. I have no doubt there is a place for what you say, but it is far from the answer.
The problem is, in my opinion that the real answer is not politically correct. Only THEY can help themselves. The greatest help in all the world for THEM, would be for the politicians to stop telling THEM that THEY are owed something and that WE have got it, and THEY will have it all just as soon as THEY get it from US. That’s popular politics and is keeping THEM from succeeding. Motivational speakers are very popular because it’s positive encouragement that motivates us, and THEY are always and only motivated to just take from US what THEY have been led to believe that WE took from THEM and that is simply not the truth. Why must I work when YOU owe me something??
Economic freedom comes from two things, A sense of responsibility and initiative and we didn’t take that from them. From those two things comes hard work and innovation that deals with poverty.
The country will have radical transformation in everything when politicians start telling the truth to the people.
Everyone must stop being politically correct. Politicians, academics, teachers and anyone who has a public platform. They are all afraid to speak the truth in love. Even the Christian leaders are afraid to stand up for truth. All repentance of the past is focussed on what whites did to blacks at every Christian leaders gathering. God says “If the people who are called by My name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face, I will forgive their sin and heal their land (whatever healing that means). He calls every human to humble themselves and get forgiveness. The national thing has been done many times by leaders and that is good and necessary. This scripture is focussed on every individual. Have black people not sinned? Starting with all the wars and wiping out the bushmen and others they wiped out? What about the “liberation” sins of murder and bombing? It would seem that that’s ok and justified not requiring forgiveness!! What about present sinful lives were all living? That’s what God wants us to humble ourselves from. All this “pain” the youth are having according to academics and politicians is being fed to them by the constant reminders of our recent past. So every time there is a gathering of Christian church and ministry leaders, on the basis of 2 Chronicles 7:14 it turns into a white repentance for black “pain” for apartheid. So blacks look at whites and try to forgive them and whites go through the guilt thing again. This is a trick of the devil to stop 90% of the population from dealing with their sin of the distant past, recent past and present sin and also get forgiveness.
In the recent Zille / DA debacle, even the Christian politicians were politically correct. Her statements may have been inconvenient for the DA politics but that doesn’t make them untrue!
A recent visit by the son of Idi Amin, the murderous past president of Uganda to the 2016 Mighty mens conference, he acknowledged the contribution of whites to Africa and thanked them. We all know how rotten apartheid was, but that doesn’t make whites rotten any more than the xenophobia done by Africans coming down from West Africa to the bushmen and others less rotten. It’s all blood spilt onto the soil requiring humility, repentance and forgiveness. When each can deal with their own sin and each have a sense of responsibility and initiative, Africa will prosper.
Truth makes one free, NOTHING else.
Be greatly blessed.
Ian Upfold
Dear Ian
I appreciate your mindful reply.
I have been hearing your response so often, in fact, just last week by a participant in the Responsive Leadership Course we offer.
There are two strong opposing streams amongst whites about this matter of affirmative giving.
The one stream has pain; they are experiencing almost a vindictiveness towards the matter.
And then there are the bleeding hearts with their oblivious conviction that they HAVE TO keep giving hand-outs – oblivious that they are working against the universal laws of cause and effect in every respect and dis-empowering the beneficiary in the long term.
The latter is very active still – and since the humans around them praise them for their philanthropy, there is no stopping them.
The proposed Value Exchange programme will satisfy their need to “help” while simultaneously creating an intensive programme of working with the dependent recipient and helping them mine their value. It is a programme that restores the soul to discover – “I am OK! I have tremendous value! I am a Kings’ kid!”
Ian, too many people have lost their value and keep transferring their lack of value from one generation to the next. This programme breaks those limiting beliefs of self in a very radical way and brings humans back on their road to dominium – in other words, to become responsive, contributive servant leaders.
It’s worth your while to come and experience A2B programmes, and see how our processes result in restored human beings.