Crammed with Heaven: Is your child happy to be back at school?

A monthly column in which Jenni Pretorius Hill shares stories of hope which bring Heaven’s perspective to Earth

My cynical response to the education department’s boast in improved pass rates was not an ideal way to kick off 2025. I admit I’m sceptical, especially since I was one of those parents waiting for matric results that were promised on Monday but only released on Tuesday. And because I’ve heard the stories, and experienced first-hand the ineptitude within the system, it will take a lot more than a news headline for them to convince me that the improvement is not just a fiddling of marks and progressive degrading of standards. 

I can sense your confusion; you’re reading Crammed with Heaven because this is where I encourage you, not feed your anxiety over your child or grandchild to whom you waved goodbye at the school gate this week. Read on friend. My intention is to leave you hope-filled in the stuff of actual substance, and not in the vague promises of man or the failing competence of government. 

Your child’s success in life does not have to be dependent on what school they attend, on the extramurals that they are denied, or the marks they achieve. If you want them to succeed – despite whatever challenge they are facing – have them believe this. But you’ll need to believe it yourself first, because if you don’t, they will think that their good future is dependent on their ability to perform, and on the ability of others to provide – the school, teachers, government, you. God is for your children, and way more than you are: with Him, failure is impossible.

I have always told my children that it is impossible to fail. They might think they have failed, or others may tell them they have failed, but the truth is it’s impossible to actually fail. There may be moments – a failed test, a failed relationship – but with Jesus, a big, ultimate FAIL doesn’t exist. My eldest daughter is a perfectionist, so the thought of failing in anything used to cause her huge anxiety. Her early years at school were hard because she believed she wasn’t good enough, and this was reinforced by poor performance at school and the multiple psychometric tests she endured. Our meetings with teachers, counsellors and education specialists started in grade R and continued all through primary school.

She was years behind in her reading age, couldn’t process numbers correctly, memorise times tables or spell basic words, and she was categorised as dyslexic. Friends broke her heart, and she had no confidence in sports. The psychologist suggested medication for anxiety, and the teachers advised Ritalin to help with focus. Her report showed that she was close to failing, except she wasn’t, and I told her as much. “Even if the school says you have failed, it’s impossible for you to fail Naomi. You can never fail us, or God, and you will never fail to learn and succeed. If you can’t learn here, there will be another way.”  

When she started high school, heightened anxiety caused eczema rashes all over her body that led to infection and debilitating pain. Two weeks into her first term, we felt God nudging us to remove her from school, but without offering us an alternative strategy. We made the decision over a weekend, and on the Monday, I sent the principal an email stating she wasn’t returning that week – or ever. I was done with the pressure, with the lie that her future was dependent on traditional schooling, and the constant belittling of this extraordinary child by her own inner voice.

For two years, she stayed at home. We bought a maths textbook and figured it out together; we read stories and poetry and studied geographical terrains and weather patterns and how they impacted the great battles of history. We borrowed a microscope and peered at whatever tiny things we could explore. She felt ready to return to school in grade 10, and I cried. Our time together was a brief, sweet moment that had brought so much healing to both of us. I didn’t tell her new school that she had skipped much of the grade 8 and 9 curriculum, but I was confident that what had awakened in her – a love of learning and a renewed sense of confidence and hope – would hold her in better stead than a head full of information. And it did. She failed her first maths test, and her second. When she attained 48% for the third, we celebrated. She would come home every day and wrestle with science and maths concepts that she hadn’t understood in class; her years at home had instilled a belief that she could grasp it, and her understanding wasn’t entirely dependent on her teacher’s explanation. 

She received her results on Tuesday. Our daughter, whom we were told would struggle to cope with regular schooling, received an A aggregate in matric. For those who know her story, an A is remarkable, for those who don’t, she’s just a smart kid with the advantage of a good school and supportive family. There’s some truth in that: she is advantaged. She’s broken free from the shackle of someone else’s definition of her. I’m happy for my daughter’s success, but I’m happier that she’s free to dream for impossible things for her life. Her future – like yours – is not limited by what she knows, or the opportunities that she has or the challenges that she faces. She has allowed her Father in Heaven to dictate the terms for her life, and she knows He is good and loves her immeasurably. 

I wish I could encourage you in the efficiency and improvement of our education system, but I don’t place any hope in our current government’s ability to fix what’s broken. But I can assure you of God’s infinite care for your children and regardless of how hopeless your situation may appear, He has a way for their good future. He wants to define your 2025, and He will if you are willing to step back, let go, and give Him full permission to do so. 

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