Identity restoration

[notice]A monthly column in which KWAKANYA NDLELENI shares testimonies of young people who are radical for Jesus.[/notice]

Kabelo, a young man who chose to surrender all to God and not rely on his own abilities, is totally sold out for Christ. It is not every day that you come across such a radical and completely sold out individual in this day and age. Khumzi is a Christ centred young man who is obsessed with not just the things of God but with God Himself.

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Lamentations 3:25 “The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.”

Let’s read more on Kabelo, affectionately known as KB and see how God’s love ravished his heart

“Like any other human being, I grew up wanting to be loved and accepted by those around me and meeting the expectations of those around me earned me the love and acceptance that I wanted. I grew up as someone who was regarded as smart and I did very well in primary and secondary school. I was always in the top 3 of my class and I often occupied the first or second spot. When I was in high school, from grade 11 to grade 12, I did all my subjects in higher grade. Everyone discouraged from doing all the subjects in higher grade and encouraged me to do some subjects in standard grade because they thought I would not make it with all the subjects in higher grade. But I refused to listen to them and I continued to do all the subjects in higher grade and in matric I did very well. I did so well that I got accepted at two universities with full scholarships and one of the universities, Nelson Mandela Metropolitan University (NMMU) accepted me and told me that I couls do any course of my choice in the faculty of science. I remember that was the best day of my life, nothing was impossible that day, everything was possible and I was set to achieve bigger in my academics.

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I remember the day when I went to see the faculty officer for registration because I registered late. When I got to the office there were people waiting to register and there was a guy next to me who wanted to register for a course in the faculty of science but his aps points were not enough. I stood next to him while I spoke to the faculty officer and when she asked me which course did I choose since I qualified for all the courses in the faculty, I could never forget the look on his face that said, “Damn, how well did you do?”.

Being smart was my trademark
Being smart was my trademark. I felt very good about myself because I knew I could do well academically. When other people shared their talents or people spoke of other people’s talents, I always thought to myself, “Ah it’s ok, he or she has this talent and I have my one too, I am smart.” So I felt like I fitted into society and I promise you, I had so many people cheering for my coming success in academics.

Then I started university and things fell apart. I started to fail like nobody’s business, something that I had never experienced before. And wow, I really worked hard. I studied very hard and sometimes I wouldn’t even sleep or go out with friends. I would just sit in my room and study, but no, I kept on failing either two or three modules and the degree that I was supposed to have finished in three years has taken me six years to finish. Things were very hectic for me during the six years I spent in university, and I felt so useless and hopeless because I failed in the one thing I thought I was very good at. I even questioned God whether I had any talents at all. I felt that since I couldn’t do well in academics my life was over because I had nothing else to fall back on, or to do with my life. The major thing though that hurt was the disappointment in the eyes of those arround me. Success was not near me and I didn’t fit well now in my surroundings. I was like an investment that had gone sour and that hurt a lot.

But then God started speaking to me about my identity in Him and how he views me, how He loves me and accepts me regardless of my achievements. God showed me His unconditional love in the lowest of my lowest and taught me that my identity and who I am does not lie in any achievements or material factors, but it lies on the fact that I am His son and as a father loves a new born baby that has nothing to offer him, He loves me the same way and the only thing He expects from me is to be His baby boy and enjoy life peacefully as He gives it. So I got to understand that my value and my joy do not come from any achievements or material things, but they come from God and now I am at peace with my life. I am enjoying being God’s son and I have no pressure whatsoever to achieve things in order to feel good about myself or feel that I fit into society. The success coming my way now is a gift from God, for His Glory, not so I can fit in with society. And the guy who thought that he couldn’t  do anything besides academics is now writing a book and is in full-time (campus) ministry. I am  loving it to bits, I am very happy and I believe the future looks bright for me.

And this is what I have learned through my experience; God loves us for what He has made us and He doesn’t expect anything from us that He didn’t give us.