Time spent together

[notice]A monthly column by farmer, preacher and writer  for Jesus, Angus Buchan[/notice]

Buying a bunch of roses or a box of chocolates for your wife is a wonderful way to express your love for her. Buying a new bicycle or a new pair of rugby boots is a wonderful way of expressing your love for your children. Cooking your husband his favorite meal is an excellent way of telling him that you love him, but, my dear friend, nothing will mean more than spending time with each other.

To take time off work to watch your little boy playing his first game of rugby or running his first race, is something that he will cherish for the rest of his life. To cancel that hunting weekend with the “boys” to rather spend time with your wife, will mean more to her than if you bought her a new motor car. There is nothing that can be supplemented for time spent with each other.

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The world system is robbing us of the intimacy of spending time with each other; husband and wife, parent and child and friends. Modern society, with cyber space, cell phones and social media sites all have their positives. I personally make use of them. However, one needs to ensure they don’t intrude in the privacy of our homes. I have heard women say that “there is a third member in my marriage, the cell phone.” I choose to put my own cell phone away when I get home, because it makes a habit of getting in-between us, especially when we are talking about precious and intimate things.

We need to be careful that we are not trying to buy our loved ones, rather than spending quality and quantity time with them. I remember hearing a very sad story, many years ago, of a young couple who had a little son. They loved him dearly and they wanted him to have the very best in life. So when he was very small, his mother and father went out to work , in order to have enough money to give him a decent home, educate him at the best schools and give him what he needed. They employed a domestic helper, Florence. Florence looked after the home, while mom and dad worked very hard, six days a week, and would often get home late at night. Johnny would be already wrapped up in bed, Florence had fed him and washed him, put his pyjamas on, prayed with him and put him into bed. Often in the mornings, when Johnny woke up, mom and dad would have already left for work. He would only really see his parents on Sunday and sometimes on a Saturday afternoon. Florence was always there and he grew to love her so much.

When Johnny started to play his first game of rugby, Florence would be standing on the touch line shouting him on. When he was tackled hard and fell, Florence would wash out the wound and put a plaster on it, give him a big hug and love him. As he grew up, he did attend the finest schools, because mom and dad gave him everything he needed materially, but not the time he needed.

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As the years went on, with Johnny’s wonderful education his parents had given him, he went to university and studied to become a doctor. He eventually became a specialist and made a huge income. When mom and dad came to retirement age, they wanted to buy themselves a small town house where they could retire together. They came to their son, Johnny, and asked him if he could help them with a loan for a deposit on their house. Johnny looked at them very sadly and said, “mom, dad unfortunately I can’t.” They were astounded by this comment! He was a prominent specialist in his field, they knew that he had lots of money. He said “I can’t help you, because just last week, I bought a home in Soweto for Florence.”

You see, Florence was the person in his life; she was the one who spent time with Johnny. When Johnny had needs, it was Florence that was there. When Johnny brought his first girlfriend home, it was Florence who met her at the door. When he battled with his studies, it was Florence who prayed for him. When he got his first class pass, it was Florence who rejoiced with him, because mom and dad were never there. They were always working trying to do the best for their child. Be careful! Your child doesn’t need things, he or she needs you. Your husband doesn’t need you to be running around the house like Martha in the Bible, he wants you to sit and talk with him. Your wife doesn’t want things from you to compensate for the time spent with the boys, we need to come home and spend time with our children, discipline them, love them and be the father of the home.

Let us make a decision, after reading this article, that we are going to spend not only quality time, but quantity time with our loved ones, while we still have them. Remember life is but a vapor, it’s here today, gone tomorrow. Let us not waste time.

God bless

Angus Buchan