[notice]A fortnightly column by Anna Heydenrych.[/notice]
Over the past year, I have had the joy of journeying with two of my best friends as they met and fell in love with their husbands. This past weekend I attended one of their weddings where I was privileged enough to serve as a bridesmaid. In a few weeks time I will again assume position as a bridesmaid as my next bride-to-be friend walks down the aisle to marry the man of her dreams.
It has been wonderful and exciting to witness their love stories unfold. Like many young women, they both longed to meet strapping young men who would sweep them off their feet, steal their hearts before dropping to their knees and pledging their undying love. But although there was a place in their hearts that was captured by the allure of fairytale love, they were both convinced that all good things would come in good time if they trusted their hopes and dreams with their Father God. This is often easier said than done, and that’s why I am writing about these two friends; because they waited. They were not distracted by second-rate love, but rather focused their hearts and minds on becoming the women God created them to be.
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One of them said to me the other day: “If I had chosen a partner from a place of brokenness, I would have chosen someone broken. I am so glad I waited until I was ready”. Now, my friend is not a perfect person. Nor am I, or any other women who longs to be loved by a man. But we all need to be able to identify the source of our longing so that we don’t make the wrong decision in choosing the man to spend our lives with, or end up settling for less than is available to us. I think too many women don’t know or believe what is available to them because they never witnessed it in their families growing up, or have given in to advances from men who don’t know how God intended for men to treat women. I wish that all women who don’t know how worthwhile it is to wait could have a coffee with my two friends and listen to them tell their stories of how they have been overwhelmed in love. It’s inspiring. I have witnessed their stories encourage other young women to believe that it’s not worth compromising on love.
So ladies, if you – like me and my two friends – have been blessed enough to experience falling in love with a man who understands that for your relationship to endure, you both need to be deeply rooted in God, then share your love story with others when given the chance. There are so many bad love stories out there, so many conversations to be overheard at the hairdressers of how men are rotten, how they are all the same and will never change. Stories like these just encourage women to accept this as the status quo.
My two friends will be happy for you to know that the love and joy and fulfillment in love that they are experiencing now is not because they always did everything right and never made mistakes in life or love. Rather, it is because they ultimately chose to wait to be overwhelmed, and to believe that anything less was not part of God’s plan for their lives.
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Excellent story, and so true. I wish all young women would follow this wise advice, and have the greatest expectations for their husbands, and future family life together.
Anna, your wisdom amazes me.
After being single for 18 years and now at the age of 59, I met my fiance (widowed – aged 71). From after the 1st week, we knew we were meant for each other and that our meeting was all part of God’s plan for us – all in God’s own timing. One needs to learn to put faith in our Lord Jesus Christ and He will honour us.
I dont think the modern woman still believes in the fairytale romance, but in the TV and media ladies marriages, which also end up on the rocks. We have to have a Biblical viewpoint of the man of our dreams – otherwise we will compromise. Wise words from you !!
Hello Chichi, thank you for posting your comment. I am of the same age and have been single for 10 years – as you know too, it doesn’t get easier but harder and as I wait, trusting my God , your comment really encouraged me ! Thanks :-) and enjoy the blessing of being married again
Wow, I find myself in this situation and i have god to confirm this to me, and now he has. Thnaks so much for this article, we should all know that we deserve the best and the father knows the best he has for us!
Now this is a message for many of my young friends and my son! Thanks – I have forwarded it to them all.
Well said Anna, I also believe that good things are worth waiting for. Thankd
Thanks Anna, this was perfect timing. We are doing a course at church on Love + Marriage :)
It is often so asy to compromise and take the easy way out of settling for less. But I choose to wait on the Lord, for a Godly Marriage, Godly Husband I will not settle for less! Thank you Anna for once again reminding us as ladies that there is no rush God is never late nor too early He knows what is good for us.
I have been married for 38 years.I married my best friend, and decided that it will last, depending on me.