A monthly column on purpose, passion and power in Jesus.
Are You trusting God for what You really, really want? Or are you asking for “just enough”, believing that’s probably as much as you’ll get?
I spoke with a friend the other day. She told me how, all her life, she’d only ever done what was needed of her — never what she’d really wanted. Then she said: “I ask myself, who am I that God would love me enough to give me what I want?”
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She went on to tell me how she didn’t feel worthy to do what she really wanted… She didn’t feel worthy.
There was a time when this kind of reasoning would’ve been completely foreign to me. I wouldn’t have understood where my friend was coming from. But I’d been through some stuff. Stuff that had knocked every ounce of wind out of my sails so that I too had been in that place of not even daring to think about what I really wanted because I didn’t believe it could happen for me.
Through my own continued journey, I’m learning that sometimes we’re mad at God for “not answering” our prayers, meanwhile it’s not God that’s the problem, it’s our own small and limited expectations of what we believe we can get.
Remember the Prodigal son? At the beginning of the story we see a young man who feels absolutely entitled to his inheritance. I can only imagine that it was his sense of “this rightfully belongs to me” that gave him the boldness to ask his father for his inheritance.
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Somewhere in the middle of the story, we see the same young man, after losing everything (due to his own foolishness) not feeling at all entitled anymore. He knows returning to his father is his only chance for survival but this time he feels he can only ask his father for the absolute minimum. So he plans to say the following to his father:
“I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.” — Luke 15:19 (English Standard Version)
The treatment the young man expected from his dad was directly related to what he felt his worth now was: no longer worthy.
If there is one thing that can prevent us from getting what we want it’s believing we’re not worthy.
At times the loss of our self-worth is due to mistakes we made. Other times the loss of self-worth could be the result of something that was completely out of our control . However, the loss of our self-worth happened, the results are the same, we live a life that doesn’t ask too much or expect things that are wildly good.
Meanwhile, the whole time, God’s attitude and heart toward us is precisely as Jesus told us in the parable of the Prodigal Son. The father refused to accept his son’s feelings of worthlessness. Instead, we’re told: “…the father said to his servants,‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet.And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.” –– Luke 15:22-24 (English Standard Version)
To God, we are always worthy. And yes dear friend, You are that loved by God that He would absolutely give you what you want.
No matter what we’ve done or how many times we’ve failed, the moment we go to Him, Father God opens vaults of abundance that He’s always eager to lavish on us.
I’d like to leave you with a quick testimony. I recently got a job. If at this time last year someone had told me that I would have this job, I would have (nervously) laughed and changed the topic. Because I had been through so much that had stripped my sense of self-worth away that I didn’t believe I could have what I do now.
Last year in one of my sessions with my mentor she asked me: “Why won’t you even allow yourself to want it?”
I couldn’t answer her that day. Because I didn’t know.
Months later I was able to answer her. Because I could finally see why I hadn’t allowed myself to want what I really wanted. I was afraid of wanting it but then not getting it.
Also, I believed with all my being that there was no way I could get what I wanted. We often get what we’re believing for. If we believe for little, we get little; If we believe for much, we get much. There’s no getting around this.
It took over a year of working with my mentor and burying myself in various resources to change what I thought of myself. The moment how I thought of myself changed, what I believed for changed. The moment I started believing for bigger (and better), I started going for what I wanted.
No, it wasn’t easy. But I got to the place where I gave myself so much permission to want what I wanted that I knew, with every ounce of my being, that it would only be a matter of time before I got what I really, really wanted. Eventually, I did! I praise God.
What are You believing for? Is it what you really, really want? If it’s not then I pray you would choose to overcome those inner barriers keeping you from going after what you truly want.
Remember God’s promise to You: “Anything is possible if a person believes.” –– Mark 9:23 (New Living Translation)
