How should we respond when we have been wronged? — Vivienne Solomons

When relationships face challenging times … love!

A few months ago, someone I know well shared something about their life that was both shocking and hurtful to me. I didn’t say much but, in my mind, I started questioning everything I knew about them, including our relationship of many years.

It’s not that I didn’t want to continue our relationship, and I wasn’t without hope that we could fix what was broken. My mind just went straight into protective mode, trying to assess whether the relationship was “even worth saving”. Honestly, I was shocked by my own response (reaction).

Try as I might, I could not unhear what I had just heard. I certainly could not undo what had been done.  

In the tsunami of (often conflicting) emotions, it is easy to react negatively, and to want to cast the relationship (and ultimately, the person) off. Particularly when lies have been exposed and trust has been broken. Still, we do have a choice, either to continue in the relationship or to say: “That’s it, goodbye!”. 

So, what should we do in such circumstances? How should we as believers respond when we have been wronged in a relationship?

Assuming that the relationship is not abusive in any way or otherwise endangers family and loved ones, and the person involved is able to recognise that what they have done is wrong, the biblical answer is to love them and continue to build a relationship with them. This is not always easy but contrary to popular belief, relationships are not as disposable as we would sometimes like to think they are because people are not disposable.

In 1 Peter 4:8 (Amplified Bible) we read: “Above all, have fervent and unfailing love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins [it overlooks unkindness and unselfishly seeks the best for others].” 

Love covers a multitude of sins.

If we take a closer look at the biblical definition of love, we can understand why it is so important for all our relationships – if they are to be healthy and functional and stand the test of time, even though we as individuals are by no means perfect:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” — 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7.

Love as defined is an action word. It takes effort to love others as God requires, to do the (sometimes easy but often hard) work needed to invest in relationships and build them according to God’s design.  

But so great is our reward (on earth and in Heaven) when we do.  

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