This past long weekend (14–16 June) South Africa put the focus on two vital groups in society that are currently unappreciated and neglected – with devastating consequences for the nation.
The first group are fathers. The flood of secular humanistic ideology in SA’s culture has not only undermined and diminished marriage and the family but also the vital role of the father.
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The war against fatherhood began with the “sexual revolution” in the sixties. Women’s Liberation Movement founder, Gloria Steinem famously quipped, “Women need men like fish need bicycles.”
The rise of feminism and the “gay rights” movement coincided with the death of the natural family. Fatherhood became an endangered species. Hollywood and the liberal media did their best to ridicule and diminish the vitally important role of the father in the home with devastating results.
But fathers matter! They always do. True fatherhood reflects the heart of God our Father in heaven. Janice Crouse of the Beverly LaHaye Institute writes a compelling article on this topic.
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I speak to TV personalities Michael Mol and Zane Meas about the important but tragically neglected role of the father in the family on “Watchmen on the Wall” on TBN Africa ( Tues 17 June at 8 pm)
Youth facing formidable challenge
The other group we focussed on this past week were the youth of South Africa. Millions of young people are currently facing formidable challenges as a result of widespread family breakdown.
The South African social landscape is littered with the debris of broken and dysfunctional families. Fatherless homes have caused millions of youth to live disconnected and aimless lives.
50 years of unrelenting attacks against the institutions of marriage and the family – especially the vital and irreplaceable roles of fatherhood and motherhood has wreaked havoc on society.
Children are the most tragic victims of family breakdown. When children are denied the benefits of a strong, loving and stable family structure they tend to struggle emotionally and relationally.
Thankfully, there are blueprints for fatherhood, motherhood, marriage and family. The principles for these vital roles and institutions are easily found in the Bible. That means – if the Christian Church got serious about restoring God’s blueprint for the family – we can reverse this devastating trend.
Despite the noble efforts of government, the Church and civil society – we cannot heal and transform society without starting where God started – marriage and the natural family!
As you read this newsletter, Arlene and I will be travelling to Washington DC to participate in the “Global Forum on Marriage.” Leaders from more than 80 nations are meeting to discuss marriage.
The globally orchestrated assault on marriage deserves a global response from leaders who believe that marriage between one-man and one-woman is still the cornerstone institution of society.
The God-given and God-defined role of fatherhood must be restored before the family can be restored. The family must be restored before the youth of our nation can find their rightful place.
Please pray for Arlene and I, including the ministry of Family Policy Institute. God has given us a critical assignment – to defend the natural family. We dare not fail – for our children’s sake!
Standing
Errol Naidoo
Hi Errol.
Firstly, allow me to thank you for the articles that you write and the work that you are doing on restoring the family. While it may appear to be a thankless task with little obvious honour, it is, in my opinion, the most important issue facing the church, society and the world today. Unfortunately, people (both Christians and non-Christians alike) enjoy controversy, and the prophetic call for the restoration of the family is lost to deaf ears, unless we can somehow blame the government, the laws, the courts, humanism, or the homosexual community for undermining our religious freedom and beliefs. Nothing stirs us up better than a sense that our rights are being trampled on and we are being persecuted.
But in the midst of all this excitement (some of which I don’t deny is Godly passion), we forget to look at ourselves, and completely miss God’s answer to all this mess – which is the restoration of the family, and in particular, the restoration of the father in his rightful Godly role. We should be making a big deal about marriage; after all it is one of the highest institutions of God, and it is now common knowledge that divorce rates among Christian believers have reached the level of divorces among unbelievers. But still somehow, even in the marriages that stay together, the family unit is largely dysfunctional, and the father’s vitally important role is being ignored. Not undermined, as your article strongly suggests, but ignored – by father’s themselves.
Let’s clarify it : among other things, the father’s Godly role is to impart God’s protection, provision, and most importantly, identity and value to his children. The mother imparts different, but no less important Godly things to her children. When a father cannot fulfill his protection and provision responsibilities, not through any fault of his own but because of socioeconomic conditions that are out of his control, it becomes an opportunity for him to enhance his family’s faith in God, as he reminds them and points to God as their Provider and Protector. But only death takes away a father’s ability to impart identity and value to his children.
I was born 7 years after the second world war, and like most children around the world at that time, my father did everything he could to provide for us and protect us. We honour them for that. But our fathers all seemed to be so distant and emotionally detached from us, almost as if there were huge scars and traumas remaining from the war, and the financial problems of the 1930’s. Making money and rising up in the social classes took on a whole new obsessive meaning for them, and although we were told it was all for us, all we really wanted was our fathers. Our mothers tried their best to fill this gap, even though many of them had morning or part time jobs themselves.
These father wounds brought about abandonment, rejection and confusion, and we were ripe for the taking. Musicians with these same father wounds wrote music that we could identify with; music that spoke about the orphan yearning of our hearts, and then drugs gave us a sense of comfort. It was a perfect recipe for rebellion.
The sexual revolution and feminism did not coincide with the removal of the father’s influence and authority. Nor did the sexual revolution and feminism diminish and undermine the father’s Godly role. Our fathers removed themselves from their rightful Godly place, and the sexual revolution and feminism and much more, were the consequences and result of that.
Today, this vicious circle continues, and fathers remain distant and emotionally detached from their children, even in the ‘best’ Christian families. Pushing the Bible ‘down their throats’ and making them go to church does little to heal these father wounds, and very often only infects them further. We seem surprised when children from ‘strong loving Christian families’ suddenly announce that they are homosexuals, but even that is just the tip of the iceberg. Anger, rage, bitterness, resentment, self-hatred, low self-esteem, lack of confidence, various forms of fears, anxiety, insecurity, helplessness, hopelessness, apathy, and isolation, are all signs of father wounds, and comfort is often sought through sexual sin, addictions (drugs and alcohol), and the occult. And the vicious cycle continues.
If we as Christians, start effectively dealing with these father wounds (specifically the distant and emotionally detached wounds that hinder and stop children from knowing their value and finding their God given identity), and restoring Godly fatherhood in our churches, we will become the light that attracts the world to our doorstep. We will become part of the solution, and not part of the problem.
I agree with you all, but I need to add; Bring Back The Mothers”!! The family is the basis of any decent society and its breakdown will always lead to the collapse of national morality. One sometimes wonders if the “conspiracy theory” proponent are not right? If Satan wanted to kill Christianity the first step is to break down the family as this is where faith and morality are learned from the earliest years of our lives. So, tell women that they are hard done by and shouldn’t be at home raising their children while their husbands earn the family income, they should rather be out being independent and earning money. Then promote women as being just as entitled to free sex as men are supposed to be and then who needs marriage. And when there is a marriage, both parents are so busy making more money to get more stuff that there is little time for the children. When the mother is at home she quickly notices any problems with the children, however when she works outside the home, she is not there when she is needed and she is as tired and hassled as her husband when she comes home; result – the children go their own way. Sure, bring back the fathers, but even more important; bring back those watchdogs of the family’s spiritual health, the mothers!
I admire Errol, amongst other Christians, who are active in their faith of a Living and Loving Father God. Our earth desperately needs those who put their faith in Jesus.
Hi Mike and Errol,
Thank-you for this well written article and I couldn’t agree more with what Mike said about bringing back the mothers. I would like to share with you my story on feminism and how it almost ruined my marriage. Thankfully, God helped me. Please see here: http://truefeminists.blogspot.com/2014/06/the-taming-of-shrew.html
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