[notice]A fortnightly column on marriage, family and relationships.[/notice]
We have heard that line over and over and over again at weddings. Those of us who are married have said those very words when we said our vows. All of us when we said them meant when the physical death do us part; when the physical literal death separate us with our spouse. How many of us realise that death comes dressed in many ways? When one dies in the physical we put him in a body bag and he is taken to the mortuary. There are many spouses out there; many marriages; many relationships that are in “body bags”. They are ready to leave the home…
TILL DEATH DO US PART REALLY DOES BECOME A REALITY WHEN THERE IS A DEATH. DEATH DOES DO MANY PEOPLE APART.
Death does cause a separation. No one can stay with a corpse. When someone dies there is a funeral. We attend a funeral because it is unnatural for a living being to remain with a corpse. A corpse will be taken from a home to a mortuary. There are many people that are dead while they are still alive. They are the living dead. They are dead in their marriages. They are emotionally dead. They are breathing yes, but they are dead.
No life in relationship
The husband and the wife might be living in the same house but they are just passing each other by. There is no life in their relationship. There is no light in their eyes. There is no joy only misery. They are cold to each other. Their marriage is lifeless. It is as if you are living with a corpse in the house. They do not talk to each other. There is no intimacy.
You cannot be intimate with a corpse. One can have sex with a corpse (what is called necrophilia) but you cannot be intimate with a corpse. Intimacy involves a participation of two people. You cannot make love with a corpse. You cannot plan with a corpse. You cannot laugh with a corpse. When one is dead they are there physically but they are somewhere else. They might be there but they are not there! Their body might be there but they are not there! Some spouses live with a person like that. You might be a person like that. A person whose physical body is in that marriage but whose soul is not in it! When someone is said to have put their heart and soul in something it means that they have put their all. They are fully there. THEY ARE COMMITTED!!! There are people who are not fully committed in their relationships. They might be there physically but emotionally they are somewhere else.
Jesus Christ can bring life back into your lifeless marriage. He is the Resurrection and the life. In God there is no lifeless anything. When you put your life in Him He puts His life in you. Let Him resurrect your marriage. He can only help you if you let go. The great healer of heaven can heal your marriage and even if it is dead He can resurrect it. When Lazarus was in the tomb after four days our beloved Jesus resurrected him. There is nothing our Lord cannot do. He can resurrect your life indeed He can resurrect your marriage. He can resurrect your relationships. Give it to Him!!
There are physical signs when one is dying. When one is dying people stop anything and everything and rush to their loved ones side to save his life. Nothing at that point is as important as saving those we love. We rush them to hospital and we do all we can to get the attention of those who can help. We want them attended to; to receive help. What will you do about your dying marriage? Are you willing to do all that you can to rush to your beloved and save them? What are you willing to give up? What are you willing to see as not important as to save the life of your marriage? Nothing is as important as family! Surely no career is more important; no project; no church is more important; no ministry is more important than saving the life of those you love. Would you rush to save the life of the one you say you love?
“My little daughter is dying. Please come and put your hands on her so that she will be healed and live.” Jairus, one of the synagogue leaders ran to Jesus pleading with Him to save his daughter in Mark 5:23. Just like Jairus you might have pleaded earnestly for God to save your marriage. You might have seen the signs and have prayed earnestly for the Lord to have mercy on you and your family as things all around you are falling apart; as you see life slowly slipping away from your marriage. You might feel it is too late. The marriage is dead with no hope of any reconciliation. You might feel that Jesus is not concerned with you or your problems and is attending to the problems of other people. You might think that you are not important to Him. He hears those questions. He sees those doubts. He hears those words the devil is whispering to your soul to doubt God and He is overhearing and says to you today “Don’t be afraid just believe.” (Mark 5:36).
Are you willing to trust Him?
Are you willing to trust Him today? Are you willing to trust Him to breathe life back into your dead situation? ARE YOU WILLING TO BELIEVE?
When you said till death do us part you were so in love you never would have guessed that there will ever come a time when the two of you are not close anymore.
Yes no one knows when we will meet our Maker. All of us know that we will die one day. You might have no control of when that happens but you have control about what happens to your marriage.
When we say someone is dead we say they are late. It is the very same line people say “It’s too late to change anything. We are so far gone. My marriage is over! It’s over!” When someone dies we say they are gone. The body might be there but they are said to be gone. The real person has left the body. Marriage at the heart of it is about the souls of the two people that are involved. Their legs might take them to the altar but it is their hearts that are connected. It is their souls that become one. When they say their vows they say their vows physically. At the altar they may be given their marriage licence that marriage really becomes official when they have consummated it.
In the physical people leave home for many reasons! A husband or wife can leave their home for many different reasons.
When a person dies their body is taken back home. No matter how many miles away they are they are taken back home where they are buried by their family. Even if you have left home and have walked out of your marriage and family it is not late for your marriage. You can still make peace. Do not come back home in a coffin. While you still have a chance make right; go back to wife. Fight hard for your marriage. The very same woman, the very same man that you now cannot stand that you have drifted away from is the very same person that you used to love so dearly. There is a place in your heart that used to come alive at the mere mention of their name; when your heart danced at seeing their beloved face.
DEATH WILL DO YOU PART ONE DAY When one of you is called to meet the fate that wait all of us until then while you are still breathing refuse to be the walking dead. Refuse to die while you are still alive. Do not let go of your faith in God until He breathes life back into your marriage until He says “DO NOT FEAR JUST BELIEVE”
“He that believes in me, though he were dead, YET SHALL HE LIVE!” (John 11:25)
Jesus can renew your marriage. HE CAN BRING IT BACK TO LIFE!!! TRUST HIM TODAY!!
You can connect with me by liking my page Life in Full Bloom with Neziswa N Kanju on facebook or emailing me on firstname.lastname@example.org