This Mother’s Day, as much as my heart longs to, I won’t have the opportunity to spend time with my mom, so I have penned this poem instead, to give expression to the mixed emotions that Mother’s Day can evoke, not just in me but in so many of us:
Mam,
The years between us were a narrow bridge,
You were just twenty, a girl with a daughter herself,
Learning the world as you taught it to me,
Finding your own way through the oft times rising water.
We had our winters, you and me,
The frost and the fray,
The sharp, jagged edges of words left unsaid,
But time has a way of softening the stone,
And by God’s grace,
I’ve let go of the hurt that I held.
The miles stretched wide, a map in between,
As Alzheimer’s began its slow, silent theft,
Taking the memories, the names, and the years that we shared,
Until only the outline of our story was left.
But at the eleventh hour,
I was able to make the journey across the continental divide,
To find you once more, in a quiet place,
And though your voice had long been stolen away,
I saw the sudden light break on your face.
In that final moment, the clouds seemed to part,
A spark of pure joy in the depths of your eyes,
You knew I was there, and you knew I was yours,
A rare but hoped-for gift of recognition,
And sadly,
Although we didn’t know it then,
Also, a silent goodbye.
I miss you in ways that words cannot tell,
A hollow that aches,
And never goes away,
But I keep that last look,
Your beautiful smile,
In my heart as a reminder,
That everything was mended between us,
and the pain washed away.
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