‘Forgive us for hating instead of loving you,’ Black woman writes to SA Whites

Nikiwe Apenteng

This past weekend Nikiwe Apenteng did something that has been building up inside her for years — she sent a message “to all the Whites who are in South Africa” asking them to forgive Black people for hating them and refusing to forgive them “for what your forefathers did” in the apartheid era.

Since 2016 the Holy Sprit has been speaking to her about division in SA and she wanted to do something about it but did not know how, “until God asked me to take action”, she says in her message which has been widely shared on social media.

Writing on behalf of “God-fearing Black South African Women”, Apenteng who is an intercessor and prophetess at Community Church in Bisho and founder of a community upliftment non profit company, says: “God has been talking about the new thing He wants to do in South Africa. God has been talking about how He wants His purpose to prevail in South Africa.

“He has been talking about the wave of change He is bringing to South Africa and how bitterness, anger, unforgiveness and hatred have blocked that.

“When looting, violence and destruction took place in my country, my heart was so aching and I could feel that the Spirit of God was grieved too.”

“Today we want to tell you that we love you” says Apenteng in the message [see full message further below] in which she lists ways in which she says Black people have been hating and cursing white people and blaming them for a number of their own shortcomings.

In an interview yesterday, Apenteng said: “I want to reach as many White people as possible so that they will know what Christ is saying about them.”

She said some people who received her message had contacted her to thank her, saying it was something they had needed to hear. “One lady was crying, actually,” she said.

She said the roots of her message, in fact went back to 2011 when she visited Ukraine and attended History Makers training with Pastor Sunday Adelaja.

“That is where I caught Love,” she said. “I had never experienced Love like that before and realised there had been something missing in me before. When I landed back at OR Tambo [Airport] the way I saw people was so different. I didn’t see colour. I didn’t see white. I didn’t see black. I just saw the image of God.”

Her revelation of God’s love for all people got swallowed up a bit in the system as time went by but was rekindled in 2016, she said.

“Something was building in me. I could see that the main thing that was lacking in SA was love. We may think it is something like unemployment — but the main thing that is lacking is love.

“There is a cycle that needs to be broken here. As a nation we cannot afford to be forced to hate, whereas the Bible is saying: Love.

“We don’t need to keep records of the wrong. We cannot live in the past for a long time. It’s preventing Black people from moving into their destiny because they are living in the past. And God wants to take us to the future but we refuse to go to the future,” she said.

Apenteng said that her message to White South Africans is just the first step in what she believes God has called her to do. She said that going forward she also plans to host reconciliation platforms.


To all the whites who are in South Africa.

Today I want to present myself before you as a Xhosa speaking God fearing woman of South Africa.
Today I am not writing this message because I am better than other black women or people. I am writing this because I fear and obey God more than man.
Ever since 2016, the Holy Spirit has been speaking to me about division in South Africa. Just like other intercessors I was praying about it. I thought praying alone would help the situation until God asked me to take action. For a long time I wanted to take an action but I didn’t know how. There were times whereby I felt like standing on top of a mountain and speak out loud about how God feels about the contention between us and our white brothers in this land because of our past.
God has been talking about the new thing He wants to do in South Africa. God has been talking about how He wants His purpose to prevail in South Africa.
He has been talking about the wave of change He is bringing to South Africa and how bitterness, anger, unforgiveness and hatred have blocked that.
When looting, violence and destruction took place in my country, my heart was so aching and I could feel that the Spirit of God was grieved too.
I remember myself writing messages to most of my contacts telling them that I am so tired of racism in our nation. I asked them what is it that whites should do for us to forgive them?

Today, I would like to stand on behalf of God fearing Black South African Women. I am not writing this message because I am saying apartheid system was right. Apartheid system was cruel I admit that. It has affected every area of our lives. Today, I choose to put love above apartheid. I choose to walk in forgiveness instead of unforgiveness.

I am therefore writing this message to you asking for your forgiveness.

As Blacks we have harboured, hatred, bitterness, anger and unforgiveness. We have justified the state of our hearts by pointing fingers to you. Most of our white brothers tried to ask for forgiveness but we refused to forgive you. We refused to love you the way God loves you.
We have rejected the love and forgiveness of God.
We have spoken words, we have released curses upon you because of what your forefathers did.
We blame you for anything that happens in our lives.
We have blamed you for the progress of our lives.
We have blamed you for our wrong decisions.
We have blamed you for being poor.
We have blamed you for the economic condition of our nation.
We have blamed you for our laziness.
We have blamed you for the our corruption.
We have blamed you for our own weaknesses.
We have blamed you for killing each other.
Our anger towards you has made us to kill each other. We have done that in your name.
We have killed other black South Africans in the name of being your spies. We have burnt and killed them in a very gruesome way and we have justified that.
Our anger towards you has made us to kill even our African brothers.
We have killed white farmers and we never care. We have illtreated you and made you to feel as if you don’t belong to this nation. Our political leaders have spoken words that are hurting you.
Recently, we have looted and burnt your businesses.

Today I am writing this message for you to forgive us.
Forgive us for not taking responsibility for our actions.
Forgive us for accusing you for the wrong that is in our nation.
Forgive us for the destructive words we have spoken to you and your children.
Forgive us for being racists.
Forgive us for hating instead of loving you.
Forgive us for not appreciating you though our parents, sisters and brothers are employed by you.
Forgive us for judging anything you do by your colour.
Forgive us for rejecting your love and for being intimidated by the colour of your skin.
Forgive us for not giving you a place in our hearts.
Forgive us for thinking that you don’t belong to South Africa.
Forgive us for refusing to work with you.
Forgive us for not embracing your uniqueness.
Forgive us for killing white farmers and for thinking that your lives do not matter.
Forgive us for not treating you as people of South Africa.
Forgive us for discriminating against you and regarding black South Africans as the most vulnerable whereas some of you are struggling too.
Forgive us for trying to eliminate you in our nation.
It was not by mistake that God made this nation a Rainbow nation. God saw it fit for all of us to be in this nation.
The unity of us and you is so important for the destiny of our nation.
Our unity is better for our children and our descendants. God will never allow us to leave our children in this environment.
This nation needs all of us.

To all our white brothers who lost their businesses during the unrest in July we just want to say we are so sorry.
May God be the one to show how much we are so hurting about what happened.
Please do not leave our nation because of what we have done.
We are about to climb this mountain. South Africa is on the verge of entering into her destiny.
Today we want to tell you that we love you as your black God fearing sisters and brothers.

May God restore everything that has been destroyed during the unrest in our nation.
May He cause you to rise again.
May He give you more strength than ever.

To every race in South Africa including my fellow Black brothers and sisters, I would like to tell you that you were human being before you became aware of the pigmentation of your skin. You were made in the image of God before you became aware of who you are.
In Romans 5:8, the love of God was demonstrated for all of us. When Christ died, He carried the sin of all of us.
Let us show the world that we love. Should you see or hear any message of racism, whether on Facebook, whatsapp, news, etc, let us not share the message to defile ourselves. Let us cover whoever is doing that with the blanket of love.
Remember, this nation needs love more than anything. Let us speak love to our children, in our families, in our communities and in our nation.
Any leader or person who encourages you to release words of hatred in our beautiful nation is not worthy to lead you.

The more we speak words of love instead of hatred, the more we break the curse of bitterness on our land and the more we eat the fruit of our land.

Compelled by the love of Christ.

Nikiwe Apenteng : Deborah Community Development (NPC)

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  1. Dear Nikiwe Apenteng. Thank you so much much for your loving and forgiveness. I too want to ask you and all black South Africans to forgive us white people for all the atrosities and always thinking that we are the superior race. We ask for you all to forgive us and start walking in love and unity in South Africa with the love of Jesus. I love you and accept your forgiveness and hope you accept mine. In Jesus Name I pray. 🙏

    • Thank you for this acknowledgment, Belibda. That is what conciliation and nation-building ( re-building) are all about- when repentance and forgiveness are reciprocated.

  2. Cynthia Netshiongolwe

    I am touched by the message of Penteng Nikiwe, it’s a eye opener. Honestly we cannot carry on walking around with this hatred in our lives. Let us reason together as one beautiful nation and keep on asking for forgiveness. We ask God ” forgive us our trespasses ” but if we cannot forgive or ask for forgiveness how will God intervene in so much hatred. I love ❤️ you all fellow South Africans regardless of color. We are one 🤝. God bless South Africa 🇿🇦

  3. As a black South African woman,Nikiwe doesn’t speak for me, she generalized all of us as black people and we’re not like that. Anyway I am not a black person I am Melanin

  4. Dear sister Nikiwe,
    You set the example for 59 million South Africans to forgive, forget, heal, look at ourselves first, work together, love like Christ, be honest, be fair, avoid hatred, teach Jesus Christ to those around us who tries to sow hatred, listen, understand, help those who need help, be patient with those who need patience, the list goes on and on. People of all backgrounds in South Africa can learn from your example. You taught me a lot today.

    • We, humanity, have been forgiven so much through the blood of Jesus and in him is the only true freedom we could ever long for! Who are we not to forgive or receive forgiveness? God himself took the initiative to reconcile all of mankind back to him… where we belong! His peace, given to us freely, is not that what the world gives… hate is not who we are and not our identity. God is the only Father of humanity!
      I accept the writer’s forgiveness and also ask forgiveness for our ancestors that did not act in the love of God. May His love become real in all our hearts because nothing else is strong enough to heal our rainbow nation.

  5. Mama Nikiwe
    May the Good Lord continue using you for His purpose. Many of us we like to shift the blame and act as if we are Saints and perfect. We as Black or White have done and said something that is wrong against someone in the past and we need to apologies for our actions. Forgiveness comes from God and only God fearing Men and Women acknowledge when they have done wrong.
    Thank you Mama Nikiwe for this eye opener.
    I love you.

    • To all people of our nation may your request for forgiveness be granted for this is a spirit of God in you that’s hurting . We are not called in this season for any form of destruction but to enjoy life. Man chooses to adapt a lifestyle through some form of leadership and what we need to ask is who are we following if we rob, steal and destroy. Secondly where does hate come from for the word of God teaches love your neighbor. Jesus disliked what was happening in the house of the Lord in John 2:15 . We say we are the temple of God today. Please remove every infirmity in me and God’s people so that we all can have peace on earth for what is loosed on earth is loosed in heaven that we can have harmony in eternity. For me to see another person hurting in anyway I’m hurt and want to help that person in whatever way I can. Its not God’s spirit that exists in people that hate, rob, murder, kill, destroy the very work of God in our lives for God is Love . Let us also love by forgiving and living for what was purposed in our lives

  6. Hi Nikiwe.It is time for ALL South Africans to put the past behind us and take hands and rebuild OUR country TOGETHER…NO MORE discrimination/ hatred/unforgiveness anymore…EVERY PERSON to bring your skills and let’s focus on BUILDING A BRIGHTER FUTURE FOR ALL…MAY GOD GRANT US THE HOPE AND GUIDANCE we need to make SA the BEST Country in Africa!!GOD BLESS US ALL…🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

  7. Idelle Simmons

    Dear Nikiwe Apenteng what a beautiful message of reconciliation God has inspired you to send. I too have found that seeing all human beings created in the image of God is the way of reconciliation. We are all sinners who can be saved from our sins through our wonderful Saviour Jesus Christ through whom we become children of our Father in Heaven & one family in Christ.

  8. My dear Nikiwe, sister in Christ. Thank you so much for that very moving and humble letter that you sent to our white nation! It was very brave of you to stand in the gap for your fellow men and women. Yes Nikiwe we all have a great deal to repent about! I grew up in a home where apartheid was very much supported and where people of other colour were seen as inferior and were treated as such. How wrong it was! And how ashamed I am to have been a part of that abomination! I apologise to all people of other colour for my part in it. I stand in the gap for my white fellow men and women and ask your forgiveness. We who are such sinners had no right to treat others as if they were not also God’s beloved chlldren. I can understand the resentment that people of other colour have towards white people. However there are many, many white people like me, who so much want to reach out a hand asking to be forgiven and begging to be accepted. We all serve the same God. There is good and bad in all of us! We have nothing to feel superior about. We all need to just be grateful for God’s unconditional love! Thank you Nikiwe for starting the ball rolling! May it day by day gain momentum until we can live together as one unified nation. From your sister in Christ, Sandra

  9. May God hold you in the palm of His hand, and heal your hurt

  10. Nikiwe, to act upon the instruction of the Holy Spirit does not require the approval of man nor the approval of societal institutions or that which may govern a nation. When God moves in His power typified by His character and confirmed by His Word which holds the highest form of authority on this earth and in the heavens above and those who have subjected themselves to His authority will never go against the unction of reconciling man to man and man to God. You know this and perhaps you are , or not fully familiar with the power of the One that came to bring a new covenant that will offer His laws on their minds and write them on their hearts. It is in this “power” which you now were able to stand in like fashion of the Priest of Melchizedek, who are not subjected to the power of death like all the former priests, but by the same Power that raised our Lord and Saviour from the grave, Jesus Christ. This everlasting “covenant” and power can only be released by appointment and sacrifice which is what you know could do as one who is holy and innocent, washed by the blood of the LAMB. May all who recognized this Power you exerted in the fear of the Living God, rejoice as He IS on His throne and will execute accordingly so that His people who are eagerly waiting and expecting Him daily, will rejoice with you praise Him for His continual faithfulness to forgive and bring restitution .

  11. Nikiwe, I think you are amazing and I stand with you in reconciliation between men and women of all colours to Precious Father God, my Abba Papa, and to each other, both now and for all eternity.

  12. Suzette van Rooyen

    What a wonderful example of Jesus commanding us to love one another. There is no greater power on earth than love. I commend you Nikiwe for your amazing spirit. May the Lord continue to use you as an instrument of reconciliation in our beloved South Africa. Together we are stronger.

  13. Sonia Odendaal

    This is the only way us South Africans, black, white, coloured, can have a future in our country. Reconciled to God first and then to each other. Thank you my Sister, you are a wonderful inspiration and instiller of hope for our country. I love you! and thank you for loving me!

  14. Magda Greyling

    we have all sinned in SA and have fallen short of God’s measurement of love and forgiveness. My prayer is that we will all follow your example, black and white and coloured and Indian and all the peoples of our land, even church denominations and tribes against each other, families, leaders, followers, colleagues… the list goes on and on. If we can forgive one another and learn to love one another the way the Father loves us all. That would be a wonderful day, the beginning of revival.

  15. Louisa van der Westhuizen

    Dear Nikiwe Apenteng, only God can fill someone with so much love and wisdom. You are an example to all of us of what God expects from each and everyone of us. May He bless you further in your ministry and may He help us all to be filled with so much love and wisdom. In Christ we are all brothers and sisters and all equal before Him. May your message be spread far and wide and inspire people to see each other as God created us. Much love in Christ 🙌🏻👆🏻

  16. My sister Nikiwe, thank you! God is certainly going to bless South Africa through your loving obedience to the Holy Spirit. I pray that God will bless you abundantly as well.

  17. Nikiwe, you are an amazing person. May you be blessed, protected, carried by the creator to heal South Africa and put it back on the right path from which we have strayed 🙏

  18. Lynn Churchman

    Dear Nikiwe, thank you for extending a hand of forgiveness towards us as whites in South Africa.
    Apartheid was such a destructive and cruel ideology and I am so sorry for all the suffering that it brought to you and millions of others in South Africa.
    God is good and I pray that He would grant us the gift or repentance and reconciliation across this land in Jesus Wonderful Name.

  19. I don’t need forgiveness as I have done nothing wrong. If I could ask you to do anything it is to educate your children so they can take their rightful place in society. Our world is falling apart because we have uneducated children. I cannot fix that. So each parent in South Africa has to meet that challenge. Then we can build a better society.

  20. Awww, my tears was rolling as i read your letter, your are amazing my sister! May ABBA Father watch over you and provide your every need, so this message can reach all of South Africa.. YAH bless you🙏 Shalom❤️

  21. Good day

    I was sent your note via one of my friends and now I see it on this website.

    May I take this opportunity to say thank you for the note. If we could only all admit that we are not perfect and have faults, we can overcome the divisions we see in the country. All the majority wants is a peaceful existence. After the apartheid years, when the ANC took over the government, I was extremely positive that things would change dramatically. Our first election was a miracle from God. What a privilege to stand in a que with all the different people being cordial and friendly with no animosity.

    Unfortunately we are seeing that the current scenario is not what we had hoped for. I am a white Afrikaans speaking Christian South African male. (The endangered species). About 30 years ago I had the opportunity to leave South Africa and create a new life for myself overseas. As a chartered accountant, we were very sought after as South Africans are known for our hard work and initiative. At that stage I decided to stay in South Africa and become part of the solution.

    In the beginning of the process I had no trouble in apologizing for the racist past although I was never a racist and to my knowledge always treated people with respect, irrespective of who they were. A Christian cannot be racist. WE do love our neighbor as God commanded. Eventually, as we were asked to repeat the apologies, I become quite adamant that I would not continue to do so continually. I cannot help that I was born white. How can I apologize for what God made me? It saddens me when I see how many people do not want to forgive, irrespective who they are. Once you have asked forgiveness, you are free of the past. I will not let anyone, whoever they are, try to keep me in bondage.

    South Africa has so many advantageous to make this country the best in the world. Even with all the problems we are having, I am still convinced that we can make it work if we only let go of our suspicions, forgiveness, hate, judgmental attitude etc. As a Christian I believe what seems impossible is possible for God. We will be persecuted for what we believe in. Persecution does not give us the right to hold grudges against the people persecuting us. The Lord’s word on the cross tells me that people that are against us and want to hurt us or get “justice” do not know what they are doing. Their eyes and ears are shut from the truth. We should have empathy for that as God gave us mercy and grace to start with. What seems to be impossible is possible through Christ.

    We have a prayer group locally that prays for South Africa every day, which includes the government as well. I have more than 50 people on WhatsApp that I send out a daily prayer subject. They in turn send it to their friends. God is our answer.

    One again, thanks you. Be assured we have accepted your apology. We can now move on together to make South Africa great again.

  22. Michael Muller

    Thank you, thank you, thank you Nikiwe, for showing me how I must forgive and love all South Africans. The recent looting did not destroy white South African businesses. It destroyed our businesses. Our’s as a nation of all races and colours.

  23. My boodskap is in afrikaans. Baie dankie vir die mooi boodskap van liefde en vergifnis. Jy is n goeie voorbeeld en so moet dit wees. As haat verdwyn en liefde tree in sal ons land die beste plek wees om in te bly. Dankie vir iemand soos jy. Wees geseend

  24. Thank you, this has really touched me. You are such a brave and humble woman

  25. Bertha Pienaar

    Bravo Nikiwe you speak up for millions of our brothers and sisters about forgiveness that we all lack. Keep on spreading the message that God laid on your heart. We can be a great nation by the GRACE OF GOD. Be blessed.. Rom 8-1 .There is now no condemnation for those who live in union with Christ Jesus.

  26. May more spiritual leaders stand up and speak up to do and say what everyone in SA needs to hear and do. Tears have run down my face as I realised my shortcomings too, even though I do not hate any other race. May everyone forgive and accept forgiveness. May God bless South Africa and all His children in it.

  27. Elisheva Bothma

    Dear Nikiwe, my heart was Touched by your Honest letter of Forgiveness!!! Thank you so Much aa I could see that you were Lead by Holy Spirit.
    This is the Only way forward for all of us in our Beautiful Country which we All Love!!
    Jesus Christ, is the Only way and Truth and without Him, we are all Lost no matter color or race.
    HE, died on the Cross for All of us and Paid so dearly with His Life so that we all could be Forgiven and Set Free and to Live Free and to Love one another as He Loved us First.
    Thanks you for your Beautiful letter, for we All need to Humble ourself before the Throne of Mercy and allow JESUS to be the KING upon our Hearts and Families.

    Bless you my and may ABBA FATHER use you More and More in South Aftica.
    Elisheva Bothma

  28. Dear Nikiwe, You have been moved by the Holy Spirit and I am so grateful for your example. If each one of us could Love like you do. Our nation will be great. I speak reconsiliation and revival with much beautiful moments of repentance for what we or our forefathers have done. Many many terrible atrocities were committed. I know my parent were not in favour of apartheid government. Too many decisions were made that were not supported by many but unfortunately when a government is in place it is a hard beast to control. I pray that we can build on this beautiful letter and work towards our Beautiful Rainbow nation becoming one in spirit. May your letter of Lo e be spread far and wide. Much Love to you. Your sister in Christ. 💜

  29. The only meaningful way to respond to this letter is to ask forgiveness in return. Your letter of introspection makes me not want to gloat or defend, but just admit that I am part of the problem. Someone smart once said, ‘take the log out of your own eye’ – interesting how your ‘eye-cleaning’ invites me to do the same. And my oh my…as white South Africans we have a lot to repent for!

  30. Mandlenkosi Mahlangu

    Thank you very much sis Nikiwe for your message. We all need to apologize and also forgive each other as God’s s children of all races and nations in order for the Holy Spirit to freely move and use us. Blessings to you.